Tuesday, June 18, 2002

Life is full of unexpected problems and choices. Take what happened last night, for example.

Donald called last night to see about forwarded mail. That, naturally, led to a 45 minute phone call. During that time, we discussed a job opening at the bank he works for that I could apply for. Now, I've been thinking about leaving this job for quite some time. But I had decided to stay until January. Now this. It would mean getting more money then I make now with prices being about the same. And Donald and I could share his apartment for a year (until he gets married.) I could start over when it comes to making friends and finding a church and find one with an active singles group. And, frankly, I think the only way you'd get me to move some place new is if I already know someone in the area. But the part of me that's afraid of the unknown is also shouting, are you crazy? You know what you've got at Master's, and you don't have it too bad. But the rational part of me is saying that this would be a great career move and I'm going to need to do this sooner rather then later. Of course, I also don't want to move closer to my family, necessarily. I'd only be an hour and a half away. I think for my own sanity I need the distance. And a part of me wonders if this is really that smart - moving to be near Donald. Or is that all I'm really doing it for.

Then there's the more immediate problem of the 4th. We discussed, if I can get my work done, me spending my long weekend with him. That would be a blast, but I know my family would get very upset if I were that close and didn't spend any time with them. And time with them would mean working on cleaning out Grpop's place, something I really don't feel qualified to do. Frankly, if they find out I have a four day weekend and don't go up there, they'll be mad anyway. But I can hide it better if I stay in town. But I'd really love going up and spending the time with Donald. Unless it would just make me miss him more.

I'm sure by now all of you are identifing with this quote. "I feel like I'm at a tennis match and I'm the ball."

So, any thoughts? Am I crazy? Need to learn to make decisions? Hopeless basketcase? Really handsome guy? I'd welcome any input at this point. Just please don't send it to my Master's e-mail address, for obvious reasons. Or, post a reply here.

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