September 2nd's Joke

The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.

July 9th's Joke of the Week

Be thankful it's not snowing outside.

Imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

An Announcement

I’ve been giving it some serious thought over the last few months, and I have reached a very important decision.  Given the current state of politics in America, I have concluded the only solution is for me to throw my hat into the ring.  Yes, I am running for President of the United States.

And here is my first campaign promise.  I promise to become corrupted by the power.  I will give the biggest and best jobs to my friends.  (Look at that, an honest politician!)

Here is my platform:

In order to increase the job force, work days will be lowered to six hours a day.  This will create the need to hire more people to do the work that is currently being done.  Those extra two hours a day will be used exclusively for reading.  If you do not wish to read, you may continue to work your full eight hour shift.  Those who regularly read mysteries will get an extra half hour off.

The Trixie Belden Mysteries series will be required reading in all third and fourth grade classes.  To help facilitate that, all 39 original books will be reprinted, and new books will be published written by people who love this characters picked by me.

Ultimate Frisbee will be made the official sport of the United States.  All other sports at all levels will be disbanded immediately and those resources used to promote this sport.  Former professional athletes will not be allowed to play professional ultimate.

The first Saturday of every month will be Disney movie day.  Every resident of the United States will watch at least one movie released by Disney Studios or a subsidiary they own.  (This includes Pixar, Lucas Film, and Marvel Studios.)

The 25th of every month will be observed as a partial Christmas day.  While it will not be a holiday, all radio stations will play Christmas music for that day.  Christmas movies will be shown on TV.  No gifts for Christmas are to be exchanged except in December.  However, Christmas decorations are appropriate to be displayed if you so desire.

To help facilitate physical fitness, all those who wish to participate in mud runs will have a one run credit on their taxes each year.

I am still working on the rest of my platform.  Feel free to post suggestions.  Naturally, I reserve the right to accept and claim credit for or reject your suggestions.

Special Announcement for Babylon 5 Fans!

You'll never believe what I just heard. Babylon 5, my favorite TV show of all time is coming back on the air on a weekly basis. The entire original cast will be back together to continue the story after the final episode aired!

I so can not wait for this to start airing. I hear it will be ready by April 1st, 2010.

(And before the few readers I have who are Babylon 5 fans get too excited, just remember...

I Slap Floor!)

Amazon Math

So, the middle of last week, Amazon put a notice up on my profile page letting everyone know that I have a birthday coming up. (The idea, of course, is to get people who don't really know me to buy me something from my wish list. If you are so included, be my guest, but don't feel like you have to.)

The notice first went up around Monday or so, and it said my birthday was in four weeks. Well, they were off by a week, but I figured they were close enough.

This last weekend, the noticed changed to three weeks until my birthday. And that's what it has said all week. But my birthday is the 8th, which is four weeks from this last Sunday.

So somehow the four weeks of a month have turned into three weeks this go around.

Happy 80th, Mickey

Today is Mickey Mouse day, according to the list of random holidays. And do you want to know why that is? Because today is Mickey Mouse's birthday. And this year, he is turning 80.

80 years ago today, Steamboat Willie premiered in New York.

As Walt was fond of saying, "It all started with a mouse." Just think of all the things we would have missed out on if Mickey hadn't been a hit his first time out.

As you might have guessed, I love Disney. So I for one am very thankful that Mickey came to be and was so popular.

So here's to you, Mickey, and many more happy years ahead for all of us.

You've Got to Love the Irony

This was part of a longer e-mail about our recent weather change here in Southern CA. But the last paragraph cracked me up.

For the remaining fans of Man Made Global Warming, London received a heavy
snowfall (the first October snow since 1922) as Parliament debated a Global
Warming Bill. Switzerland has also received the most October snow on
record.

You've got to love the irony.

Dead Men Tell No Tales

Ahoy Maties!

This be your reminder that today be Talk Like a Pirate Day.

(And I'm listening to "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)" at the moment, too.)

And here's a fun quiz I found to celebrate the day.

My pirate name is:

Mad Jack Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Overdue Meme Answers

So, Stephen tagged me over a week ago. I really didn't intend to wait this long to repsond. Honest!

In an effort to keep it simple, short, and easy to follow, I’d like to challenge you to quote one verse (not one chapter). And then say what the Lord has been teaching you in one sentence (not one paragraph). Then tag 5 peeps (you know the drill).

Verse: Thou hast enclosed me behind and before, And laid Thy hand upon me. Psalm 139:5

Lesson: My trust, focus, hope, etc. needs to be on God not on man. (And you think I would have learned that by now.

Tagged: You!

That's right. If you've read this, I tagged you. Why am I so lazy? Because most of the people I could think of right off the bat to tag don't blog any more. And do leave me a comment if you do respond.

I've Just Got to Point This Out

I know, I know, I'm really late for April Fool's Day. Like four weeks. But I found this so funny I just had to share.

Back on April 1st, Think Geek.com introducted several new items, all of which were jokes. My favorite was the Betamax to HD-DVD converter. Talk about the perfect match! I can't wait to get one for myself.

Follow the link and take a look at it. Be sure to read everything because there's some very funny stuff there.

Major Life Changes

You will never believe what I got in the mail yesterday? My check for $1million finally came in. I thought about complaining about the lack of interest, but decided I could deal with just having an even million dollars.

Naturally, the first thing today was come into work and demand a raise. Which they gave me without any hesitation. Next, I paid off my condo and put it on the market so I could move to a better house. I'm thinking a mansion somewhere where I really have to commute to work.

I also increased my roommate's rent since I don't need it any more.

Meanwhile, I am going back to a simplistic lifestyle, which means I am selling off all my books and movies. I will be deleting all my reviews at Amazon and Epinions and burning my Trixie Belden books.

What, you don't believe a word I am saying? Good.

April Fool!

Top Easter Songs

So yesterday on his blog, Mike talked about the joys of Easter music. And he then listed his top 15 Good Friday/Easter songs. That got me thinking, and I just had to create my own list.

So here, in no particular order are my 15:

He's Alive - Don Francisco
Too Small a Price - Don Francisco
Rise Again - Dallas Holmes
Christ the Lord is Risen Today - Scott Wesley Brown (with wonderful new music by Michael W. Smith)
Via Dolorosa - Sandi Patty
Criminal on the Cross - Acappella
I Was the Nails - David and the Giants
A Better Way - downhere
Because He Lives - any and all versions
Why? - Michael Card
The Great Divide - Point of Grace
The Day He Wore My Crown - Sandy Patty
Love Song - Third Day
Great Exchange - Bruce Carroll
Watch the Lamb - Ray Boltz

Honorable Mentions: We are the Reason (David Meece), End of the Beginning (David Phelps), Secret Ambition (Michael W. Smith), The Wonderful Cross (modern praise chorus version). Where the Nails Were (Sandi Patty), Was it a Morning Like This (Sandi Patty)

Ahoy, Maties!

Just a reminder that today be talk like a pirate day.

So be sure to talk like a pirate as you swab the poopdeck.

Argh!