September 1st's Joke of the Week

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?  

A carrot.

August 26th's Pun-Official Holiday

Paw-lease go mutts with pup-lifting festivities for Dog Day!

August 17th's Joke of the Week

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

August 10th's Joke of the Week

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree.

August 3rd's Joke of the Week

How did one tectonic plate apologize to the other?

“My fault.”

July 27th's Joke of the Week

Have you heard the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

July 20th's Joke of the Week

My grandmother reached 100 yesterday!  That's the last time I get in the car with her when she's late for bingo.

July 14th's Pun-Official Holiday

Americans do not meter out the lengths they’ll go to celebrate Tape Measure Day.  Many enjoy the day in a yard.

July 6th's Joke of the Week

Why do restaurants on the moon get such bad reviews? No atmosphere.

June 29th's Joke of the Week

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes a large portion of noodles into his bowl and tops it with some chicken and cashew nuts.  All this is done with the consummate ease you’d expect from a Jedi Master. Meanwhile, Luke is using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping food all over. Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and say, “Use the forks, Luke.”

June 22nd's Joke of the Week

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

June 15th's Joke of the Week

I wondered why that Frisbee kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

June 11th's Pun-Official Holiday

Have an a-maize-ing time today.  It’s Corn on the Cob Day.

June 1st's Joke of the Week

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his girth from too much pi.

May 18th's Joke of the Week

What happens when you throw books into the ocean?

You get a title wave.

May 13th's Pun-Official Holiday

Take a leap and be hoppy for Frog Jumping Day.

May the 4th's Joke of the Week

Someone ripped the 5th month out of my new calendar.

I’m dismayed

April 27th's Joke of the Week

The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers here."  A time traveler walks into a bar.

April 21st's Pun-Official Holiday

Hummus fun will bean had today.  It's Chickpea Day.

April 13th's Joke of the Week

I quickly covered myself with my arms as my bookcase fell on me.

My fast thinking was due to the shelf defense class I took.

Easter Sunday's Joke of the Week

Why did the Easter Bunny have a panic attack?

He was having an egg-sistential crisis.

March 30th's Joke of the Week

Why are zebras bad at baseball?  

Three stripes and they're out!

March 24th's Joke of the Week

Why did the turtle break up with the giraffe?  They never saw eye to eye.

Third Saturday of March's Punofficial Holiday

Needle-less to say, Quilting Day is always sew much fun.

March 14th's Pun of the Week

I pirated a movie yesterday...

I gave it 3.14 stars.

March 2nd's Joke of the Week

A hungry lion roamed through the jungle looking for his next meal when he came up two men.  One man was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other man was writing in a notebook.  The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.  Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

February 23rd's Punofficial Holiday

Keep your eyes peeled for any monkey business on Banana Bread Day.

February 16th's Pun of the Week

A dad took his six-year-old son to his first football game.  Afterward, he asked the boy what he thought of the game.

“It was exciting,” he replied.  “But I don’t understand why they were killing each other for twenty-five cents.”

“What do you mean?” the dad asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”

February 8th's Punny Holiday

String out the celebration for Kite Flying Day

January 13th's Punny Holiday

Let your enthusiasm bubble up for Rubber Ducky Day

January 5th's Punny Holiday

Today is National Whipped Cream Day.  Pun-officially, that's not a holiday to dessert.