Review Requests I Get

I've started getting so many requests to review books thanks to my reviews at Amazon that I thought I would share some of the funnier ones here occasionally.  (I think I did this once or twice in the past, but this might become a regular feature).  These seem to have increased recently thanks to the self-publishing capabilities of Amazon.  So here's the first (and the real inspiration.)

The e-mail starts out like this.

Greetings,

First of all, I want to thank you if you reviewed one of my previous novels [Name of books removed] I recognize that reviewing a novel is a very personal adventure, in addition to being taxing on your time and patience. If the experience of reviewing one of my novels was not unpleasant, then I am happy to offer a new novel for review. It is always my desire to offer a PDF to review, but I understand the need for a physical book in hand and gladly oblige such a request. I am also open to author interviews and giveaways.

Now I don't mind getting a form letter.  Most of them are.  However, there are some serious things that made me laugh here.

First, he doesn't even bother targetting this to those who have reviewed a novel previously or not.  Instead, it is so impersonal that he thanks those who have "if you have."  Way to make sure it sounds like a spam e-mail.  I know if I had reviewed a previous book, it would make me feel so appreciated.  Since I haven't, I'm okay with it.

Usually, a review request will mention seeing my profile at Amazon, so at least they are targetting me because of that.  Here, it sounds like he is hitting me up for promotion on my blog.  How many author interviews and giveaways have you seen around here?  That's what I thought.

Dude, at least write two or three different form letters and target them better.

Here's the thing.  I recognized the name.  I've ignored him in the past (most of the time, these just go in the trash).  So maybe you need to try a different approach with people who have ignored you.

I won't share the plot synopsis, but let's just say that it sounds boring except for a mention of zombies.

Yes, this appears to be a zombie novel.  How, let's talk about targetting again.  How many zombie novels and movies have I talked about here?  0.  Guess how many that means I've read.  You guessed it.  So again, why are you sending me a request when I've ignored you in the past and you write something I don't normally read?

E-mail is certainly cheaper than regular mail, but it opens us up to more junk like this which obviously really doesn't apply to me.  But I get a laugh out of it and move on.