Monday, January 30, 2006

Where to Even Begin

So, I haven't actually posted about my life in two weeks. Normally, posts about my life say "Not much to report." That's not the case this time. I'm sure I'll forget something, but here goes.

The Fun

Last Saturday, the 21st, Lee Godberg had a signing for his new Monk tie-in novel. As always, his signings are quite entertaining as he shares stories from his years working on various TV shows. I've heard lots of them several times, but I still couldn't pull myself away.

And, yes, the book is wonderful as well. Read it in three days.

That was also our first game night of 2006. It was wonderful to be back. We played Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, which Debbie and Bonnie loved, and Catch Phrase, which all of us loved.

Yesterday, I got to go to a Shaun Groves concert in Pasadena. It was part of the evening service at a church, so the concert part was not nearly as long as I would have liked. Still, it was great to finally see him in concert. And I got to sit front and center, too.

Afterwards, he signed autographed and chatted with fans. I got his first CD autographed, which means I now have all three autographed. (I'd bought the second two signed when they came out.) In chatting with him, I mentioned reading his blog. He asked a couple questions, figured out who I was, and admitted to having checked mine out once or twice. Now there's a scary thought. Yikes! So if you're reading this to see if I talked about the concert, Shaun, I did, and I had a great time. And I'm not just saying that in case you read.

The Sick

Tuesday, I was feeling lousy. Finally went into the walk-in clinic after work. They diagnosed me with an infection and got me started on anti-biotics. They also told me I was running a fever. A fever that didn't break until Saturday. Yep, I spent three days home mostly in bed. And I got a bad cough during the time, too. I spent a little time on the internet Thursday and Friday, but I spent most of my time in bed all three days. Did get to finish the Spin and Marty set that way, but that's about all. They still haven't figured out what was wrong 100%. I run out of pills tomorrow morning, so hopefully that takes care of things.

The Change

First, the minor one. Went to another employment agency on Tuesday. I sure thought I'd been there before, but didn't recognize the office. I was frustrated because I was trying to explain that I was willing to consider moving, but the person just didn't get it. She put down that the only area I was interested in was Van Nuys. Um, weren't you listening?

Now, the major one.

I am no longer leading worship Thursday nights at youth group.

Yeah, I'm still kinda in shock, too.

It was a combination of things. A group stepped forward that was interested in doing it. Plus Pastor Jon thought I was leaving in February because of a confusing statement I had made. (I said I wouldn't leave before February.)

Either way, I missed my last chance to lead worship on Thursday night by being sick this week.

Frankly, I'm torn by this developement. I love leading worship. I have always wanted to play guitar for groups like this. But, my skills are not what they could be. Someone else leading worship could be very good for the group. New songs. New sounds to old songs. Something different to shake things up. And they need to be shaken up. I am tired of looking out at the group and seeing only half the lips moving.

I do have some concerns, but that's me trying to micro manage everything. I am trying very hard to let go and let them take over.

I just feel like God is making sure I know the doors in my life are closed. I think He is trying to move me on, but I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing next. And as someone who likes all his ducks in a row, it really bothers me. A couple lines from a Rich Mullins songs keep running through my head.

I can't see how You're leading me
Unless You've lead me here
To where I'm lost enough to let myself be lead

That's me in a nutshell right now.

And that's my life in the last two weeks.

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