Wednesday, August 29, 2007

And the Youth

This should finally catch you up on the big events on my life this month.

Two weeks ago, I was asked to step down from working with the youth. The reason I was given was that I was showing I wasn't as committed as I should have been. I was tired of doing it. And the youth weren't responding to me as well. So it was time for me to move on to another ministry.

Needless to say, that made for a very emotional week. Despite the fact that I was trying to submit to the leadership on this, my heart was crying out it wasn't true. I think I went through all the signs of mourning in the next couple days. Yes, that does include anger. And there were lots of almost tears. Heck, I lost it at one point because I couldn't find a bank statement. And I hadn't even finished searching yet.

When I told the kids that Sunday, they were shocked. I actually heard a couple gasps. And I've had lots of them tell me how much they will miss me. That and the hugs really help. Not that it's any easier.

I was beginning to get to the place where I was trusting God with the decision. I knew He would show me what I was to do next. And if this wasn't what He had for me, He'd show our youth pastor.

But then some other things started happening that have made me question what is really going on.

And I know this is horrid of me, but I am not going to get into the details. It would be speculation, gossip, and hearsay at this point. But my speculations have really hurt me. There are some people I will never view the same way after all this.

Needless to say, it has been a rough month. But you know what? God is still God. He has a purpose in all this, even if it is just to teach me to trust Him more. When will I learn this lesson?


Becky said...

I am sorry to read of this Mark. It does sound like you have been grieving. Whenever we are interacting with other people (including Christians, and we are called to interact) we are going to encounter injustices and pain alongside of the sweet things. Even though there seems to possibly be something underhanded going on, trust that God does have a purpose in this trial, and He will work it out for your growth. It sounds like you are trying hard to keep that perspective. I will pray for you.

Mark Baker said...

Thanks. I can use all the prayer I can get.